This is my introduction AND a story (*Cough*) from my life! Why? I don't really feel like talking about who I am right now. That's why.
I live in Michigan, so typically it starts snowing right after Christmas. Now, this doesn't exactly help us live up to the dream of a white Christmas, but it does give us something to look forward to. A nice snow after Christams is very nice and poetic. It'd be nicer if the tree that we decided to put in our living room for some reason was outside and covered in snow like it should be, but that's a topic for a later day.
Our initial snow was about five inches, and it fell on the first of December. In the typical dreary Michigan fashion, of course, it then completely stopped snowing for a few weeks and just looked grey. Only small amounts of dry, useless snow fell to make up for any compacting of the first five inches. It wasn't exactly ideal, but for Michigan it was pretty nice. Plus, we got a nice white Christmas that way. Poetic. You could practically hear the Christmas carolers singing outside our door, except we live in the middle of nowhere and anyone outside our door should probably be in an insane asylum. You could practically see the halos of joy beyond the bloody fingers, pricked and torn open by pine needles that should be used for industrial work. Overall, a nice Christmas compared to the ones of old. (Going to Georgia to spend the entire time holed up in a boring little house in the middle of old folks land playing chess to amuse ourselves...)
Imagine my surprise, then, when I woke up New Years Eve to the sound of thunder. Yes. Thunder. And it wasn't like the thunder of a big snowstorm. I know THAT thunder very well. Protip, when it's snowing really hard and you go out to play, watch out. That really bright red flash that completely blinded you for a few seconds, then the sound of a jet plane flying low overhead? It's super lightning. It's really close super lightning.
Anyway. I believe I got off topic there. The point is, it was also raining. All of the snow was melting. I don't believe the song goes, "I wish you a merry Christmas and a melting, dreary, muddy new year!" In fact, I think our dear friend Mother Nature just sent the early snow to mess with us. You thought you were getting a nice, snowy winter, oh yes! But now, you see your snow melt! Watch, as I make the entire rest of the winter muddy, cold and grey! Can't you hear her? I can. And I wouldn't put this past her. She's been known to mess with us before.
So here's my demand, Mother Nature. Give us a bit more snow. In fact, give us a lot more snow. Preferably, Sunday night. Lets see the roads get cleaned for school THEN! (Of course it almost never works. The cleaners are outside every snowy night, catching the snowflakes before they hit the ground.)
I hope this completely pointless post has cleared up a few things about Michigan weather, and perhaps about my mental condition. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a massive Lovecraftian mutation to draw.
